And so December is upon us. Santa lists are in the making. Parents are running around like headless chickens. There aren’t enough days in the week!
All while this is going on, there are families and individuals struggling with the issue of ill mental health. It’s a real thing. Let’s end the taboos and face this head on.
There aren’t enough beds, not enough nurses and people are suffering. I’ve been on a mental health ward at Christmas, the staff try their very best to help you feel festive, but the truth is you just feel depressed.
When you’re feeling this way it’s extremely hard to get in the mood for the holidays. Outside of hospital wards the outpatient services are also crippled. Those who need extra support can’t access it easily. I feel blessed now that I’ve two children to focus on and that helps me feel festive cheer.
We’re getting ready for Santa and the girls are counting down the days.
This month I made the decision to opt out of therapy. For now at least. I didn’t feel it was working for me and I felt it had the potential to feed into my mental illness and set me back. I suppose I’m telling you this as it’s important to know what’s working for you and what’s not serving you well.
Maybe you don’t click with the therapist, maybe issues you have are just too raw to deal with now. Take a break and re-refer when you’re ready. You need to be in a state of readiness to tackle your mental health.
This year I’m focusing on putting smiles on the faces of my loved ones. It will be an intimate Christmas with just myself, my husband and the girls. I can’t wait! For the first time in many years I feel settled, secure.
In other news let’s talk about weight. Right now I would say I’m verging on overweight. I have never been overweight in my entire life. I have always been too thin and now I feel as though my health is suffering for opposing reasons. I have a bad back, I get out of breath, I struggle to bend down to tie my shoelaces. This is so far from what I’m used to that I just can’t get my head around it. I wonder to myself if my weight will level out, if it’s just my medication or if I am in fact eating too much? Probably the latter! I eat my meals and polish off the children’s leftovers; I snack a lot throughout the day and in the evening, and I’m known to go downstairs during the night for a drink and find myself eating something as well. Suffice to say I’ve gone up another dress size.
For me, right now, it’s about managing where I’m at. I don’t want to make any tweaks for fear I’ll be back where I started. I just want to plod along like this for awhile. Maybe tackle my weight in the future. I’ve come to learn that nobody cares what size you are. It’s only how we perceive ourselves that is askew.
I feel perhaps this post is a little disjointed, it’s lacking fluidity. I guess that’s just where I’m at with life. Little bits here, little bits there. Nothing spectacular is happening in my life, but that’s a good thing. Sometimes less is more.
Naomi Barr is a mum of two and a mental health blogger.