What we say to children matters – sometimes more than we realise. That’s why Words Matter, the UK charity founded to end childhood verbal abuse by adults, has created a new free, first-of-its-kind online course launching this January. Called Words Matter: How to Communicate with Children so they Thrive, the evidence-based programme is designed for parents, carers, and educators, equipping them with the tools to help children flourish.
Two in five (41%) children experience verbal abuse from adults – often unintentionally – through everyday language like shaming, blaming, or criticism, and is now the most prevalent form of child maltreatment. Its impact on children’s confidence, mental and physical health, and development can be profound and lifelong – leading to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, substance misuse, self-harm, and even suicide and has been shown to be as harmful to adult mental health as physical abuse. Yet most adults receive no guidance on how their words affect children.
Research asked over 1,000 parents/carers and over 1,000 children which measures would help protect children from hearing hurtful language – and nearly two thirds of both audiences said adults need clearer guidance on how their everyday language affects children’s wellbeing1.
The new three-week course features powerful insights from world-renowned experts and draws on the latest research and neuroscience to explain why words matter, alongside practical tips for real-life situations. It also includes children and young people’s perspectives, with 13-year-old Ethan opening the course with a heartfelt poem and rounding up each week with his reflections.
Expert contributors include:
- Professor Peter Fonagy, Head of the Division of Psychology & Language Sciences, UCL, and Government Advisor
- Professor Andrea Danese, Professor of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry at King’s College London and General Secretary of the European Association for Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
- Professor Eamon McCrory, CEO of Anna Freud and Professor of Developmental Neuroscience and Psychopathology, UCL
- Dr Alice Graham, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Oregon Health & Science University and Principal Investigator on the Healthy Brain and Child Development Study, USA
- Professor Sophie Havighurst, Child Clinical Psychologist and Director of the Parent and Family Research Alliance, Australia
- Dr Fiona Pienaar, Child and adolescent mental health specialist and former teacher with over 30 years’ experience and Senior Clinical Advisor at Mental Health Innovations
- Dr Rebecca Rolland, Speech Language Pathologist and Lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education
The course provides a fresh perspective on the importance of everyday language and shows how small changes can profoundly shape a child’s confidence, resilience, and wellbeing, and helps adults apply positive strategies to strengthen relationships and support children’s development. It covers:
- Why words matter – how language shapes a child’s brain, sense of self and lifelong development
- Harsh words and their impact – recognising verbal abuse and breaking harmful cycles
- Positive communication with children – simple strategies for building trust, confidence, and stronger family connections, including the importance of repair and guidance for neurodivergent children and navigating challenging conversations
Professor Peter Fonagy, Head of the Division of Psychology & Language Sciences, UCL, and Government Advisor, said: “The way adults speak to children can shape their mental health and development for life. This remarkable course shows why words matter, and gives practical, evidence-informed ways to replace harm with guidance – using calm, positive, and encouraging language that builds confidence, resilience, and healthier relationships. Even small changes in everyday communication can shift a child’s trajectory, and the benefits can echo across generations.”
Nana Owusu, Head of Clinical Services, Anna Freud, and youth mental health leader, commented: “As both a professional and a parent, I have seen how deeply words can shape a child’s sense of self. A single comment can build a child up, or it can stay with them for years. This course is invaluable for anyone who supports children in any part of their world. It brings the science and expertise into simple, everyday strategies that anyone can use – parents, carers, and professionals alike – to help children feel secure, confident, and truly seen and heard.”
A young person with lived experience of verbal abuse said:“I think this course should be mandatory for every parent, teacher, prospective caregiver – anyone who will spend time around children. If every adult took this course before interacting with a child, I think the world would be a much happier place.”
Jessica Bondy, Words Matter Founder, added: “The words we use with children carry more power than many adults realise. We all want children to achieve their best, but with stressful lives, it’s easy to get overloaded and say things unintentionally that we later regret. This course gives adults practical tools to help children feel valued, confident, and supported. Let’s build children up, not knock them down, today and every day. It’s never too late to put things right.”
To access the course, search ‘Words Matter’ on Futurelearn.com
